The Weather

Well, the weather is here and I wish it were beautiful, but sadly today it's not--all overcast out. This is strange--usually this time of the year the day starts out great--beautiful blue skies and beach-worthy in all repects and then the clouds appear--because of the heat.
Now if the breeze is from the east and coming off the ocean, this will keep the clouds back away from the coast--just long enough for me to get my sun and my exercise and my socializing done before the traditional afternoon showers come rolling in from the west, where it's hottest. If it rains, then this will cool things down. But if it doesn't, the heat remains.
As we are now done with August, we are off the anvil, so to speak. But the temperature really won't come down until after All's Hallow Eve--still some time away. In the meantime, everyone relies on air conditioners.
I mention the heat because this is what spawns hurricanes. There's more to it than that but that's the long and short of it. And hurricanes are unfortunately a big deal in Florida.
Why this is so necessitates more trivia--Editor's note: long boring explanation ahead. Get ready to skip to next paragraph. O.K., so I'll spare you the minutia. Long story short--hurricanes may well spell the end of the great Florida boom.
I take myself as an example. If I have to sell my place and move, I will. But I don't want to. This is my home--I've lived in my small two-bedroom condo for almost nineteen years and I like it here. I can't stand my neighbors but it's quiet and safe. This is a very good neighborhood, compared to some very bad neighborhoods around here where I wouldn't live if you paid me.
But back to the heat--it is oppressive. As bad as the cold up north that all the snowbirds run away from every winter. This is why so many people head up to the Great Smokey Mountains this time of the year. If I didn't enjoy the beach as much as I do, that's where my thoughts would be heading.
But the heat is different at the beach. For one thing, you're dressed for it. And you can always cool off in the water or under a shower if you so desire. This is what Klara used to do--get to the beach early and leave before the really hot part of the day. Not my cup of tea, so to speak, but it worked for her.
She went to the beach to swim and chill out. After she would swim, she'd sit on the beach and soak up some sun and take in the beauty and majesty of the sky and the ocean. I tried what she did and it worked for us as a couple, but I would never do it by myself.
She tried my routine of walking and she liked it about as much as I liked her deal. She may even incorporate parts of my walking for exercise into her beach routine when she gets back, but I'll probaby never know. She's supposed to return the end of October. In the meantime, she told me she was headed to the Ukraine after she returned to Prague where her mother and older sister live. I've e-mailed her twice but she's giving me the Kentuky Fried Freeze-out routine, so I don't know.
As much as I could tell, she wasn't being straight with the immigration people as to what she was doing here, because at one point she asked me if she could use me as a reference when she came back, to say that I was family or a friend she was visiting. Apparently, if she had told them she was here to dance aka strip, the immigration people would want a cut of her money, which she didn't want to give them. She told me she doesn't like to dance in the Czech Republic or Sweden because of the prostitution issue--which is why she wants to dance aka strip here. She told me she needs money. I advised her that most people do.
I also told her about the Miami Book Fair that's going to be in November and she said she wanted to go with me--of course, that was before we broke up. I liked being seen with her. I liked driving her around. I thought she and I fit, but I haven't had a girlfriend in person in over fifteen years, so maybe my assessments in that regard are off. We did have that one nice day together. Maybe that was all we needed.
The sun is now out, but it's far too late for me to go to the beach today. I am headed to the mall, to walk up and down what few stairs remain there, and purchase some underwear that I need.
I hope I can remember to set my alarm for tomorrow morning--the ravages of old age unfortunately are real--you do begin to lose your mind and your memory. I'm only 47 and it's already starting with me.
Things are going better with the book--I'm at page 202 out of 327 and the last fine tuning adjustment I made was page 175, so maybe I've cleared the hard part.
Must go now, not that I want to, but the mall beckons. TTYL.

The Book

When I asked Klara to help me with my book, this was not a line. This was the truth. I still need help with it but less so now, as I feel more confidant about it. It is in better shape now than it was a month ago, so if someone asks to see it, it will be more prepared.
Which prompts the question of when something such as this is actually done. Books are an enormous amount of work, so much so that at some point you start asking yourself if the game is really worth the candle. I am to the point now with the first book that it is difficult for me to even look at it any more, let alone enjoy it. I could do some more work on the sequel, but even that is starting to get on my nerves. Which is why I need a diversion.
I mentioned before that I am waiting. What I am waiting for is a response back. This is the really hard part. As much as doing the book wasn't easy and then getting the manuscript in shape was difficult, so too is it practically impossible to not want to rush the process at this point. Which is what gets a lot of people in trouble.
This is why you need a diversion--something else to do. At one point I was doing so much work on the book--because it needed it. Now I've gotten to the point where I need a response--because if I don't get one, that means this isn't going any further and I need to start making alternate arrangements. I can hang, but it's not easy. I see now why some people don't ever want to finish their work--because then it's away from you, much as a child that grows up and moves out on his or her own. Empty nest syndrome. If I can get something going on the first book, I'm sure my interest will pick up again in the second.
Klara was helping me with the book by sitting next to me, following along as I read it outloud. Then she would take a turn reading outloud and would write down words that were unfamiliar to her in her notebook and I would correct her pronunciation when she needed it. A little less than a hundred pages into the book, there's this scene where Carolyn seduces Brandy, but no on-camera sex, so to speak--it's all fade to black. That's when I felt Klara pull back from the book.
We skipped to the end just before she left, but by then the book starts getting complicated, when the subplot merges with the main story, and then just following what was happening became a problem. By the time I got my we're-too-different kiss-off from her, she wanted nothing more to do with me or the book.
She told me her last relationship had been long distance, with her last boyfriend living in Sweden when she lived in the Czech Republic, and maybe she didn't want to go through that again. The nice drive that we were having that one morning when we went to Hobe Sound beach, she did make one comment to the effect that she was going to be leaving soon anyway. I suppose me coming along with her was out of the question or didn't even occur to her. But then I wouldn't have been here to do all the work that I have gotten done. Such then is the mess.
But Carolyn's happy, right? She's got her boyfriend and her time on the island in paradise, so that's all that matters. Again, I'm left holding the bag.
But I can't complain, because I know that there are so many people who wish they could do what I've done and they just can't, for whatever reason. It's easy to fall into the trap of being bitter. I'm not going to do that.
At one point, after reading a part in the book that she liked, Klara asked me about my spirituality. She told me she believed in reincarnation. I countered that if you do believe that, then you have to also believe you're here to do something. I told her I was here to do books and I asked her what she was here to do. She said she hadn't figured it out yet. I told her that was fair.
I know it sounds awfully corny, but when I did the ending for the first book, I felt as though I had done something that I had been born to do. If the book is just for me, because there is nothing out there that it really resembles, then that's what I need to know. We shall see.