be sure to check out Joan's latest on her website:

be sure to check out Joan's latest on her website: (usually she updates her blog every Sunday evening but she can and will surprise you) **Special Note: all of Joan's archives are now up--almost ten years of 'bitter girl.' As Joan says, go wild!**

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Honeys at the Beach

Were there honeys at the beach yesterday, basking in the warm Florida sun? Was there also a repulsively fat bald guy who keeps proselytizing me and tries to convert me to his religion every time I see him? And does he also speak to himself as if he has an I-phone hardwired into his head with a direct line to the Almighty ("Hello God--this is Fred again.")? The answer to all these questions unfortunately is yes--sadly, the beach attracts some strange people.
It would be pleasant to report that there are always honeys at the beach, but this is inaccurate, unjust and unkind. The later it gets to be in the year, the more it's just tourists and old people. Also the beach itself becomes looser and more like slogging through quicksand than more finely packed during the summer, so to walk the same amount takes considerably more effort.
Which is why I'm doing this now instead of getting ready for the beach again. Some of the girls around here do look better with a tan and they notice that and this does draw them to the beach, but it would be a mistake to suppose that's the only reason I go.
Yesterday was a very nice beach day, which I thanked God for, and there was sunshine almost all day long. There were also bait fish in the water, just north of Lost Tree Village, and they were being chased by something--possibly sharks and definitely tarpon. I saw some dorsal fins a few hundred yards out near the pier and the pelicans were out, all unmistakable signs of fish activity.
There were also people fishing in the water, some in water past their waists. This you could label either extremely foolish or quite daring, depending upon your point of view, because these sharks, while not large enough to eat you alive, could quite conceivably take your hand or foot or a nice chunk out of your midsection, points I pondered while the people in the water seemed not to care.
All my life I've had reasons why I didn't have a girlfriend--I was too busy with the book, my car wasn't nice enough, I didn't know anyone I wanted to ask out, and so on. There only reason I have left is the sequel, which I'm still doing work on. That's the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

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